3875.) i like talking to new people on the internet. people i don’t know. because they cant judge me. and they dont know anything about me.
Sometimes its easier to talk to people you don’t know…you don’t have to fit into what their idea of what you should be…people who know you try to make you what they think you should be….
3854.) You broke my heart. And we never even dated. I hate you for never talking to me anymore, but at the same time I can’t get you out of my mind. You were one of my best friends. What happened?
I have been on your side of this one too. It is possible to love someone without so much as ever even kissing them….
After I broke things off with My First Love, I dated - alot. After I learned that flirting got me EVERYWHERE- I had alot of guys chasing me. After being known as exclusively belonging to someone, I didn’t realize that there were so many out there that wanted a chance.
The summer between my Jr and Sr years, I met “My Rock” He was 20 years old, had beautiful blue eyes, dark hair, and was shy and sweet.
In October of my senior year I found myself a scared mother-to-be.
We got married 2 weeks before my 18th birthday. I graduated from high school on June 13th, and gave birth to our beautiful daughter 2 weeks later….
He was everything, my best friend, my constant support, my provider. My Rock.
He always saw the best in me, had faith in me. Believed in me. No matter what. He never minded my procrastination- or my last minute mind-changes. My creative bursts that dimmed as fast as they flashed, he took it all in stride.
He was just always there. If I was upset, before my first tear fell, he seemed to know just what to do, what to say, to reassure me.
He worked hard to give me everything I ever needed, or wanted.
I was stupid. After the passion became “comfortable”, I guess I got bored. I was happy enough, but I wasn’t strong enough to keep temptation away.
I met my next two loves while I was still married. No, that’s not a regret…I just regret how I handled things in the end….
3671.) When everything i want is right in front of me i push it away because i’m scared…. and its ruining what is supposed to be the best years of my life
wow. This is me. Stop it…or you will have many regrets. Twenty years from now you will be saying the same things I do—-“what if….”
My First Love
I met him when I was just 6 years old. He was 9, blond, blue-eyed, and he came barreling down the aisle of the church bus. Tripping on something in his way, he fell and stabbed me in the knee with a lead pencil.
That marked me forever- the pencil lead is still in my right knee.
Years later, we dated for quite a while. He taught me to drive, he used to sing Alabama songs to me, and he was the first to touch me. When I was 16, I gave myself totally. He wanted to get married.
I wanted to see what else was out there.
Regret number one. When I was almost 17, I broke up with my First Love. He was so hurt, he didn’t finish his senior year. It’s been over 20 years- and he’s only had 2 other relationships- one with his first wife, and now, with his second wife…..
In order for you to understand my crazy dreams, I must fill you in on some of my past.
There are 5 men that I have loved in my past. Each one contributed something to who I am today.
I have really vivid dreams, haunting dreams. Sometimes I wake up feeling hollow inside and longing to return to my past and re-do some of my wrongs to make them right.
But one thing is for certain.
While I do live a life full of regrets, they are regrets for things I’ve done. I don’t regret my loves, not one little bit.
How many chances at love does one person get in a lifetime?
I can count 4, maybe 5, in my life that I’ve REALLY loved, and that I am pretty sure I was loved by them, too. And I’ve hurt three of them badly. Is there another chance for me left?
I feel like the best of my life has already past me by…I’m really not looking forward to the rest of my life.
I just keep thinking about those in my past. It’s true, you know. That saying that goes “you don’t know what you have til it’s gone”- it’s really true. But “The grass is always greener on the other side” most definitely is not….
And the saying “You can’t go home again”, well for me, thats true. “Home” is a place where I don’t belong anymore, and I have been replaced. And I have no one to blame except myself.
And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
“Iris” Goo Goo Dolls